Stopping Discontentment at the Source

For a lot us, discovering who God created us to be has a lot to do with cutting out the distractions in our lives. These distractions aren’t just time-wasters—they also bring a lot of negative emotions into our spirit.

For years, Facebook fit into that category for me, so I cut it out for a while. In this passage from Smart Money Smart Kids, the new book I wrote with my dad, Dave Ramsey, I discuss how Facebook brought jealousy and discontentment into my life—and how I finally stopped comparing myself to others.

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This is something I’ve seen a million times: People flirt with whatever it is that drives them into a crazy fit of discontentment. For some people, it’s hanging out at the mall. For others, it’s spending hours on the internet researching new gadgets or cars they can’t afford to buy. For me, it was Facebook.

One night during my senior year of college, I was sitting in my apartment scrolling through Facebook, catching up on everything my friends were doing. I saw a status update from a friend who had recently taken a trip to Paris with her mom. She had posted a ton of pictures, so of course I started flipping through them. I saw shots of her eating at incredible restaurants, visiting all the art museums and tourist attractions, and enjoying the city with her mother. But the pictures that really got my attention were the ones with shopping bags in the background. I’m talking bags and bags of new clothes. And not just any clothes; these were high-end designer clothes with the logos big and bright on the front of the shopping bags. Before I realized it, thirty minutes had passed, and I had studied every picture not once but twice. By then, I was absolutely burning with jealousy.

I wish I could say I was a mature young woman who was happy for my friend who had a great trip to Paris. But that’s not who I was at that moment. Sitting there on my sofa that night, I was a five-year-old little girl whining and saying things like, “It’s not fair. I want to go to Paris like she did. Why can’t I go?” I’m embarrassed to admit it, but it’s the truth. Then, after about two minutes of wallowing in those thoughts, it was as though all the conversations my parents had ever had with me about contentment woke me up from my selfish daze. I knew exactly what was going on: I had a jealousy problem brought on by comparing my life to other people’s lives through Facebook. Problem identified. Solution? I deactivated my Facebook account right then and there.

Later, when I finally came back down to earth from my mile-high pity party, I couldn’t believe I had allowed Facebook pictures to get me so worked up. I knew I had an incredible life, so why was I trying to compare it to other people’s status updates and travel pictures? I realized Facebook was not good for me—at least not at that point in my life. At the time, I figured I’d just back away for a few days, but after going a little while without comparing my life to anyone else’s life, it was actually extremely liberating. I didn’t go back and reactivate my account for several years, and even now, I don’t spend time endlessly scrolling through what other people are doing. Cutting off the source of the discontentment infection was the cure.